Its birthday season... 14

Yikes.... I started this draft months ago and haven't been back. Funny how it got suddenly impossible to have computer time with a little toddler around. :)
But this post is important to me so I'm going to finish and post it.

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So Kayla has turned 14. Old enough to get her learners permit, yet still young enough to need her mama. Its sweet watching her grow into a beautiful young lady.
God knew what he was doing when he gave her to me. Only 18 years old and a new boyfriend. Never would i have thought at that age that her daddy and i would be celebrating being together for 15 years, or having 5 siblings for this little girl. How sweet and lovely life has turned out for me.
And Kayla... Aww...she's smart and funny, and knows what she likes and doesn't like. She's a true oldest child in every way... Bossy and responsible. But she's unique and doesn't let the world dictate who she should be. She loves playing pirates with her siblings (although I'm watching that go to the wayside slowly with a slight ache in my heart), she writes...oh she writes and writes...stories of adventure are her thing. She is in cadets and takes great pride in that, and she'll often be found trying to play her favorite songs on her clarinet.
Oh sweet Kayla... Growing up, but still so little :) I so look forward to who you become, yet I celebrate right now for who you are.

Another birthday...Wyatt

Wyatt is 1 today! I cannot believe a year has passed already...
I thought i'd do a repost of Wyatt's birth story after a few (okay a lot! lol) pics for today. A reminder of how far he has come. So sweet and tiny. 

Birth story

My doctor decided at 36 that it was probably best to do an induction because of the cholestasis I had. We figured I'd made it to 36 weeks and baby was healthy, but I was starting to feel worse, that it would be best to take baby before things got bad. So as of thursday afternoon I was put on the induction list and told to stay by the phone.

After a night of barely sleeping because of excitement, they called me around 9:30 the next morning, told me to eat breakfast and make my way in.
I don't think I got there until just before 11, as I had to wait for hubby to finish working and come get me. I got all checked in, and they took me to my labor room. I saw the little baby warmer, and all the other stuff and felt total panic. My little guy was gonna be born that day!

I had to wait while they did paperwork, i talked to the OB on call, and the doctor, and a bunch of nurses. They decided they would break my water and see what happens. The doctor tried first, but my cervix was long and thick, and she couldn't get it. So we had to wait for the OB to try. She came in and it broke right away. (this was 1pm) Unfortunately once they broke it, they noticed there was meconium in it. Thankfully just light, but enough that I had to have constant monitering, and they had to put the nicu team on standby.
I hung out for 2 hours chatting with the nurse, and generally feeling crampy, but nothing really significant was happening. The plan was to start pitocin after 2 hours if nothing was happening. So by 3:15 I had my IV hooked up, pitocin started, and antibiotics started (required because baby was gonna be preemie, and I hadn't had the gbs swab done). Right around the time (before the pitocin kicked in) I was starting to have to breath a bit through my contractions. But in between I was still joking with the nurses so I knew not much would be happening. I started getting pretty uncomfortable so asked them to check me. I was only 2cm. This totally crushed me, as I was 2 when they started the pitocin. I asked if I could get the epidural (had planned to go without, but realizing i was in pain and not getting anywhere really frustrated me). They said sure, but I had to wait until I was 3cm first.

Around this time (not sure of the actual time), baby started having some heart deceleration into the 90's. So I kept having to change sides I was laying on to bring his heart rate back up. Finally at about 5:30 I was in lots of pain, and they checked and I was a 3, so I could get my epidural! They had me all hooked up by 5:40. Ah sweet relief.... Or so I thought.... The pain of the contractions was gone, but the pressure was quite painful. I was still having to breath through the pain (although it was less thankfully). I said to my hubby "I think this baby is gonna be born at 6:15". He laughed, and said, 'ya doubt it... maybe 7 or 8'.
My legs were totally numb, and the heart decels kept going lower (60-70 during contractions), so I was flipping over every couple of min (not easy when you can't move half of your body). The pain was getting horrible from the pressure. They checked me at 6:10 and I was 6cm. I continued to flip positions, and breath (and cry) through the contractions. I felt the weirdest feeling, almost like a pop or something, and just cried out "baby is coming now". They checked me, and said I was 8. I could feel so much pressure, i was just crying. All I could think was 'why did i bother with the epidural, i have so much pain, and I can't even move and i'm terrified I won't be able to push baby out'. I started panting and trying not to push as they called in "team green" from the nicu (for the meconium). As soon as they got there, I just yelled out "he's coming", and with one push his whole little body was out. He was born at exactly 6:30pm. (5.5 hours from when they broke my water, and 20 min from when I was 6cm).

He screamed immediately, and his apgars were 9 and 9. I remember looking at him thinking he was too small. I had expected not to get to hold him, but next thing I knew they were asking if I wanted him. He was perfect. He weighed in at 5lbs 6oz, and was 18 inches long. I got to breastfeed him right away, and get lots of snuggles. It was awesome.

His cord was really long, so they figured he kept compressing it, which is what was causing the heart rate to drop.

Of course being a preemie, and being sga (small for gestational age), they had to do glucose tests. Ugh. This was a nightmare. They started in the low 2's, which meant formula. Luckily I was able to express a good amount of colostrum, so he got that first, then the formula. Policy was we had to have 3 good glucose tests (over 9 hours) and the 2 good 12 hour tests. We managed to get 2 good ones on the formula, and then had to start back at the beginning when his blood sugar went to down to 1.1. I was so frustrated and annoyed at this. But trying to be thankful he wasn't being taken to nicu for an IV.


We managed to get the glucose under control, but they wanted us to stay for 3 nights to keep an eye on him. I cried like crazy when they said I had to stay a 3rd night. It was my oldest daughters 13th birthday, and I had just really wanted to be there. Plus I wasn't getting any sleep in the hospital cause they don't let you sleep with baby, and he wanted to be held all the time. I finally had to break down and ask them to take him to the nursery. Too many nights with pretty much no sleep. I slept for 2 beautiful hours, and woke up feeling like a brand new person! lol


On monday morning the nurse came in the with good news that I could leave that morning with strict instructions not to skip the health nurse visit to check his weight and jaundice. My little guy left the hospital at 4lbs 14oz. So now we spend the next week doing nothing but nursing. LOL

Madison's birthday

Ack... I'm so late on this one. I started a draft on her birthday, and now its 8 days later and another birthday tomorrow. But here I am anyways... LOL

Madison turned 9 on Dec 1. I cannot believe that my 'baby' girl is 9 already. But I want her to be able to read this someday and know what she meant to our family. After we had our first 2 we were happy to have 2 kids and the 'perfect' family. But after a couple years something changed in my heart. I wanted another child. We weighed the pros and cons over and over and over... we'd have to give up travel, cause that's too hard with 3 kids, and we'd need a bigger house and a different car, etc, etc. But oh a bigger family would be great when they are older. We decided the pros outweighed the cons and tried to have a baby. I got pregnant right away, but only a few weeks later lost that little baby. I wanted to try again right away and a couple months later we lost another little one. It was then that I started turning to God. How else could I get through the loss of a baby...

I needed a break. It was Christmas time and my heart was heavy. I purchased an angel with 2 little lights in her hands to represent those little lives for the top of our tree. James was leaving for school in Feb, which meant he was going to be gone for 6 weeks (with weekend visits home when able). Wouldn't you know it was a bad winter. He was only able to come home once I think and that weekend was a surprise to me when he showed up at home during a blizzard. I wasn't ready for more heartbreak but decided to give it one last chance... sure enough 40 weeks later our little Madison showed up. She changed our lives. Yes we were already parents, but in my mind a mom to 2 was very different than a mom to 3. She filled my heart where I didn't even know it was empty (as did each and every single child we've had). And I truly believe that those months of hurt and joy set the path for what our family has become.

Madison... she is quiet and sweet and polite. But when she gets excited she is fun and goofy and can giggle like nobody else. She is an artist on many levels... painting, drawing, music and even just her dreamy thoughts. And yet her favorite movies include Batman and Pirates of the Caribbean. She has a heart for God like I've never seen in any child before... She prays often and looks forward to the day she will meet her Father.

Its hard to believe its been 9 years since she was born, and before I know it she will be a young lady getting ready to set out into the world.

Isaac Daniel

Happy 4th birthday to my curly hair sweet boy! I sure love this kiddo! His mop of crazy hair, and always wanting to snuggle. And even his new thing of calling Evan a 'butthead'... LOL He is sensitive and smart and begs us to read him stories all day long. Of course he also loves to fight with his brothers and sisters, especially to use the ipad, or pick his shows ;)

Its hard to believe that 4 years ago he was born. Just 36 weeks, and barely over 6lbs. He looked so tiny and vulnerable in the nicu with all his wires and stuff keeping track of everything. What a blessing he has been to our family... #5. So wanted, and so loved. Isaac Daniel

2 gifts today

I'm sidetracking from the joy dare today to share 2 gifts that are big for me this week...

Life
Death

Of course we are thankful for life. But death... well without death (and the fear of losing someone) we can't really appreciate life. We need those hard times, those valleys, to really appreciate the beauty of the top of the mountain. It reminds me of a mountain I climbed as a kid. We started by going up the valley. It was dark and damp, and often eerie. We knew that's where the bears would be. It was beautiful too though... there was a comfort of being tucked in this area, and the incline was gentle. But there were a lot of logs to climb over, and dead brush on the floor to step on and trip us up. And as we went further up, the climb got more difficult because it was often steep, and sometimes even a bit dangerous. But once we reached the top, it was amazing. Absolutely amazing. And looking down towards the valley we started in, well you could only see trees. Lots of lush green trees. You couldn't see the dead stuff on the ground, you could only see what was growing because of that. Now of course, I could have focused on how tired I was, and how difficult it was to get to the top, but why, after all that work, would I not appreciate the view I had set before me.

This week has been a big reminder about these 2 gifts. Last weekend, a neighbor of mine lost her 5 year old son to an aggressive cancer. And then just 2 nights ago, I almost lost my dad to a heart attack. Sometimes we just need that perspective of how fragile life is, to really truly enjoy it.

from my window...

3 gifts from my window...

1. sunshine!!
2. little birdies looking for food
3. a fantastic neighborhood full of *good* people

3 gifts acorn small...

mini chocolate bars for those 'crisis' moments ;)
pudgy baby hands
chapstick!

Nov. 4 joy dare

A gift gathered, given and good...

Gathered... family gathered together.
Given... offering to those with less
Good... knowing the preciousness of each and every single life, in good and hurt.

And ironically, while I exercised this morning, I watched a documentary called "Happy", and one of the key scientific factors in happiness is counting your blessings. And I have many :)

Joy Dare

So Ann Voskamp does a monthly 'joy dare', and I'm going to try my best to join in.
 http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/11/happy-november-november-joy-dare/.

Today is 3 gifts that start with N...
1. Well... November. Its a break from the busy to just have normal routine before the chaos.
2. nice...sweet Isaac is always hugging me and saying 'you are nice'
3. Noelle, our girls music teacher. She loves on my family in many ways and is a huge blessing to us.

Halloween

Well despite the fact it was rather cold, the kids had a great time trick or treating! The girls had their costumes planned for months. They had so much fun dressing up like 80's rockers! lol Reminded me of being their age once ;)

We knew Evan had to be something that 'lit up', so he decided on being Tron. His costume was so him and so fun! One guy gave him 5 candies instead of 1 because he loved his costume so much. LOL

Isaac just picked out of our current selection of costumes and decided he wanted to be a pumpkin. He went to like 10 houses and then was dying to come in to eat his candy. haha. He was just thrilled with his little stash. And after pigging out, he informed me his tummy hurt and he was done with his candy. So cute! I didn't get any pics of just him, but here is the whole gang!

I'm not a big fan of Halloween, but I tolerate it because the kids love it. But I sure love watching how excited they get about dressing up, and all that candy. Oh and also, our neighbors (they are an older couple who are so awesome) do not give out candy, but they always stop by with a treat for our kids. This year they brought us cupcakes. I'm *so* blessed to have neighbors who go out of their way to love on our big crazy family. 

Beauty

I love the feeling of being completely awestruck by our creator's beauty. What a beautiful day when we realize just how blessed we are....

Surgery

Kayla recently got her adenoids out. Easy peasy routine surgery. But not so easy for this mama! I think we wouldn't be human if we didn't fear our kids would never wake up after being put out. Ugh! But she did awesome.

This girl makes hospital gowns look cute! :) 

Dad and Kayla playing football on the ipad! They had lots of fun waiting :)

And this.... this made my day. Thank you man at the good earth coffee shop in the children's hospital. You made me smile. 

"School pics"

I've seen some of these done on blogs before, and thought it was a cute way to document a new 'school' year. So here's the kiddos...

Wyatt 9 months

Isaac 3.5- preschool

(this kids hair just kills me! LOL)

Evan 6.5- Grade 1

Madison 8.5- Grade 3

Emily 12- grade 7

Kayla 13.5- grade 8

The whole crew!

Be alive

So i've been seeing a lot of situations lately of sick people. Like the little boy a few doors down who has struggled most of his life with illness, and is expected to pass away very soon from cancer. So in light of that, I am here to say, I am thankful for my health! Yes, our family tends to have a perpetual cold the entire winter, and I won't lie, it wears me out! A lot! But there are no promises in life, so right now, in this moment I am choosing to be thankful we have that. Life can change so dramatically in just an instance, and if we can't easily find the good when we have it good, how can we expect to get through difficult times that WILL come eventually.


Here's a song I've been listening to lately. It is GOOD to be alive. :)

A little giggle for the day

A certain little brother thought this was funny :) Thankfully he knew which sister would appreciate his humor, and which one wouldn't ;) And also, note Madison's arm draped over Emily in the picture. They sleep all snuggled together every night. So sweet.

It's feeling like fall... a little bit ;)

Well all the public school kids are back in school, and of course we get asked constantly "have you started yet?". And I guess in a way we have, in that the kids got some new books and they've cracked them open. ;) But the reality is, we don't 'start' or 'stop'. We just learn! Some learning is more formal and from a textbook, but most is just by living. I feel so blessed to have finally just made homeschooling a part of who we are, instead of trying to fit it into our lives. (that has taken years to happen though for any new homeschoolers reading, so don't be discouraged when it doesn't start out like that!)

Anyways here are a few things we've been up to since the long weekend...

A lake day with Papa (grandpa). 

A trip to Lethbridge and while James worked we went on a nature walk, played at a park, and saw a movie at the theatre :)

Some 'electricals' with dad ;)

Running to save some tomatoes from frost and being thankful they will ripen inside!

And of course taking the time to really notice the beauty that fall is. How absolutely stunning to see these fall colors against that blue sky. 

Visits with family!

My mommy came to visit :) Which means I got to visit with my brother as well (since we don't see him often otherwise).

Gramma giving painting lessons to maddy!

At the zoo

Butterflies at the zoo

Isaac doing the 'flamingo'. haha

Its a good thing :)

Summer that is... little time for blogging, lots of time for FUN!

For some reason, i'm generally not a fan of summer. I don't like the heat, the bugs, blah, blah, blah... But this year! Oh so different! We are having a GREAT time! I only wish it could last so much longer!
We've done many many fun things... get togethers with family and friends, stampede, lake days, camping trip, playgrounds, waterpark, creek fun, hikes, watching storms roll in and out. *sigh* These are the days of summer :)

I can feel the seasons starting to change... the nights are getting cooler, days are getting shorter, and kids are getting ready to go back to school. I've even found myself pouring over curriculum catalogues and buying new pencil crayons for the kids ;) But i'm not ready to let go of this beautiful season just yet!

Finally some random pics of some of our summer fun: