Madison turned 9 on Dec 1. I cannot believe that my 'baby' girl is 9 already. But I want her to be able to read this someday and know what she meant to our family. After we had our first 2 we were happy to have 2 kids and the 'perfect' family. But after a couple years something changed in my heart. I wanted another child. We weighed the pros and cons over and over and over... we'd have to give up travel, cause that's too hard with 3 kids, and we'd need a bigger house and a different car, etc, etc. But oh a bigger family would be great when they are older. We decided the pros outweighed the cons and tried to have a baby. I got pregnant right away, but only a few weeks later lost that little baby. I wanted to try again right away and a couple months later we lost another little one. It was then that I started turning to God. How else could I get through the loss of a baby...
I needed a break. It was Christmas time and my heart was heavy. I purchased an angel with 2 little lights in her hands to represent those little lives for the top of our tree. James was leaving for school in Feb, which meant he was going to be gone for 6 weeks (with weekend visits home when able). Wouldn't you know it was a bad winter. He was only able to come home once I think and that weekend was a surprise to me when he showed up at home during a blizzard. I wasn't ready for more heartbreak but decided to give it one last chance... sure enough 40 weeks later our little Madison showed up. She changed our lives. Yes we were already parents, but in my mind a mom to 2 was very different than a mom to 3. She filled my heart where I didn't even know it was empty (as did each and every single child we've had). And I truly believe that those months of hurt and joy set the path for what our family has become.
Madison... she is quiet and sweet and polite. But when she gets excited she is fun and goofy and can giggle like nobody else. She is an artist on many levels... painting, drawing, music and even just her dreamy thoughts. And yet her favorite movies include Batman and Pirates of the Caribbean. She has a heart for God like I've never seen in any child before... She prays often and looks forward to the day she will meet her Father.
Its hard to believe its been 9 years since she was born, and before I know it she will be a young lady getting ready to set out into the world.
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